Don't You Just Hate Spammers?

Woke up this morning, stretched, poured myself a nice tall glass of peace and quiet… and then BAM—ambushed by a spammer named Susana. Ten comments on my blog. TEN. On different posts. I mean, if you're going to be a nuisance, at least be efficient.

Yes, she has a blogspot account. No, you can’t view her profile. She’s basically the digital equivalent of someone ringing your doorbell and sprinting off into the bushes. Real professional.

Beneath her very generic and heartfelt comments (and by that I mean they read like they were written by a malfunctioning toaster), was a link to a payday loan site she’s obviously an affiliate for. So if one of you kindhearted souls had clicked on it and signed your life away in 47% interest fees, she would’ve made a shiny commission. Isn’t that sweet?

Now don’t get me wrong—I’m not against affiliate marketing. If you’ve got a product you love and you're sharing it with people who actually want to hear about it, go on with your winning self. But commenting on my blog like you just threw darts at a keyboard? Oh no, honey. That’s where I draw the line in the dirt with my boot and say, “Not today, idiot.”

I spent the better part of an hour deleting her nonsense and locking the barn doors, so to speak. Comments are now on moderation. But fear not, real-life human friends! I check my email more often than my animals check the feed buckets, so your comments will still make it through quickly—provided you're not trying to sell me snake oil in the shape of a high-interest loan.

And let’s be honest, Susana might have gotten away with it… if her comments hadn’t made about as much sense as a chicken wearing flip flops. Not a pair either. Just one. On its head.

There’s a website called “Masterminds Need Not Apply” that highlights dumb crook antics. Honestly, Susana’s application is probably already in the mail. I’ll write her a letter of recommendation if it helps get her off my lawn.

Until then, I’ll be here—swinging my spam swatter like a ninja grandma with a fly problem. Back to farm shenanigans shortly.