Saturday, May 12, 2012

Fat Pig!

Actually, 3 fat pigs. 3 VERY fat pigs! No, I'm not insulting anyone, nor am I giving a new twist to the 3 Little Pigs story. We actually have 3 morbidly obese pigs. Here's the story: 

DH loves pigs. It's his favorite farm animal. I hate pigs and I'm actually afraid of them. I can handle a buck in rut with no problem. After all, he's a vegetarian and he's only being territorial about his does in heat. (City folk might refer to them as a billy goat and nannies, that is, before I inform them of the proper terms. But I digress.) The buck just wants to be sure no one steals his precious does from him. Knowing this, he's easy to deal with. He can be bought, after all. If I want to borrow a doe all it requires is some grain and, typical guy, he's then thinking about his stomach and doesn't even notice that he's missing a few of his beautiful ladies. But a pig is an omnivore which means it eats just about anything, meat included. An 800 pound sow that might look at me as lunch is a potential problem. We've had pigs in the past and if it weren't for my 2 English Shepherds watching my back I just might have been the main course several times. Pigs don't like me either, but I'll save that story for another time. Let's just say the feeling is mutual.

The last pig to claim residency here was the aforementioned 800 pound sow who pushed me from behind and knocked me over. Needless to say the dogs weren't approving of her treatment of me and chased her off with much barking, snarling and gnashing of teeth. The dogs did the snarling etc., the sow just ran for it after the first well placed bite to her hind legs. Surprisingly the dogs didn't leave a mark on her. We know this because we inspected her hide very closely after she was hanging from the tractor bucket a few days later (AFTER she was slaughtered of course). I have a motto on this farm - be nice or be tasty.

So we've been pigless for a few years. DH has been talking about getting pigs again. Knowing my fear of them he decided on a smaller, more docile breed called a Guinea Hog. The males get 300 pounds tops, the females somewhere in the 200 to 250 range. While he was looking for someone who sold this breed, an online friend offered to sell me her adult boar and 2 sows for very reasonable money. She thought the sows might be pregnant based on timing from their last litter. We agreed to buy them and picked them up last Saturday.

Here's what a Guinea Hog is SUPPOSED to look like:
Kind of a smallish chubby bear kind of thing. Not too big, short legs, definitely not as threatening as the usual big commercial pig. I was expecting to see something like that.

HOLY COW, or in this case HOLY FAT PIGS! One of the things my husband learned about this breed is that they're easy keepers and it's easy to overfeed them. Overfeed them? These hogs have gluttony down to an art form! Here's what the hogs we got look like:
Bottom line (if you'll forgive the pun) is that I think there are at least 3 someones on this farm that are on a diet! I'll let you know how it goes.
Please leave a comment below. I love hearing from you.


Delirious said...

"be nice or be tasty". LOL classic!

I remember a rooster my grandpa had that was mean. It got my brother down and tried to peck his eyes. That rooster ended up on the chopping block, and my brother ended up with a permanent red scar on the white of one eye. Farming ain't for sissies, is it? ;)

LindaG said...

Good luck with the diets. :o)