Thursday, July 23, 2009

WAR!

BATTLE CHECKLIST:

Battle suit - check (Honey, does this outfit make me look fat?)

Weapons - check

Secure all civilian personnel safely away from battlefield - check

Communicate to all other military personnel as to their duty status, positions and backup procedure should their assistance be needed - check
Locate enemy stronghold - check

Locate exact location of enemy headquarters - check

Report - Mission accomplished. Enemy has been eliminated.

There were actually 2 separate nests in 2 different shelters. And I have to admit that I took the picture of the nest AFTER I had killed the hornets. Ok, call me chicken. Even though I was all geared up in the bug suit I wasn't going to stick my head in there to take a picture while they were still alive. I waited long after the buzzing stopped. But I am getting better - at least I remembered the camera!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Solitude? NOT!

I love the solitude of working in the woods cutting firewood, no one but me and my trusty chainsaw. Lately when we work in the woods we seem to have lots of company. As you can see, DH is definitely not alone. He cuts some smaller trees first to keep his helpers busy so they aren't in the way when he fells the bigger trees. Don't want any crunched critters. Our helpers come running quicker when they hear the chain saw than they do when they hear a grain dish rattling.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Where to Store Food Storage

Many people know they should have a stockpile of food and necessary items. But they wonder where to put it and how to organize it. My DIL has a great post today on just that topic with lots of helpful links and ideas. Click here and the link will bring you right to her blog post. And if you missed her fabulous guest post back in June about food storage you can view that here.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Creatures of Habit

I admit it. I'm a creature of habit. My daily routine doesn't change much and most of the time I resist change with a passion. Same time, same channel definitely describes me. There's something comforting in keeping the same schedule, being in familiar places, eating familiar foods. So I'm not surprised that other critters on the farm are similar.
But, if someone changed the location of my bed I don't think I'd have difficulty finding it, especially come evening when I'm tired. And on occasion when I've moved to a completely new house, I haven't gone back to the old one to sleep or find shelter from the rain. So it did surprise me a bit when we moved the portable shelter to a new patch of ground and the goats curled up at the place where the shelter used to be. Perhaps I could understand their confusion if we'd moved it across the field, but it's only about 10' over. Apparently, they haven't figured out that it's the cover that keeps them dry, not the location.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Official Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings, G.O.D. (Great Omnipotent Deity), has recalled all units manufactured to date, regardless of make or year, due to the post manufacturing development of serious defects in primary and central heart component.

These malfunctions occurred first in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defects in all subsequent units. These defects have all been categorized under the technical term "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," most commonly known by the acronym: S.I.N.

Some of the commonly seen symptoms include:
1. Disobedience
2. Loss of direction
3. Foul vocal emissions
4. Amnesia of origin
5. Lack of peace and joy
6. Selfish or violent behavior
7. Depression or confusion in the mental component
8. Fearfulness
9. Idolatry
10. Rebellion
11. Extreme desires to acquire or possess things

Please note that the Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service to correct this defect, and it is being covered completely free of charge! Technician in charge of repair services, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden and staggering cost of these repairs, and there is no additional fee required.

The number to call in all areas for this repair service is simply: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Upon connection when prompted, please upload your defect (burden) of SIN through the specified REPENTANCE procedure. Next, select and download ATONEMENT as provided by the Repair Technician, JESUS, and it will be automatically injected into the heart component.

No matter how small, or how big the SIN defect has become in any particular unit, JESUS will replace it with (in varying measures according to the need of the defective unit):

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

After repairs have been completed, please see the Operation Manual, a.k.a. the Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth (B.I.B.L.E.) for further details on the continued use of these new components.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without the above fixes voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human unit being permanently impounded (see under DANGER below).

DANGER: All human being units not responding to this recall action will, of necessity, be impounded and eventually scrapped in the Gehenna yard. The S.I.N. defect must be repaired, since no unrepaired unit can be permitted to enter the Heavenly environment in order to prevent contamination of that facility (as outlined by Maker in B.I.B.L.E.). So for free emergency service, give JESUS a call right away.

Thank you in advance for your personal attention to this!
- G.O.D. (the Maker)

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice. You may also, at any time, contact the Maker by 'knee mail'.