I had an appointment with an ear, nose, throat doctor today to investigate some weird thing I have happening with some stupid gland in the back of my
throat, jaw, tongue, I don't know, someplace in there. Don't ask me to explain the weird thing because it's one of those things you just can't seem to adequately describe. The doctor said he was going to anesthetize my nasal canal so he could put a small scope up my nose and down my throat to take a look. I suggested he might want to use the left nostril because my right one was prone to nosebleeds, particularly in winter. He asked me if this happened recently and I told him how I had donated a pint of blood to the toilet yesterday while a bad nosebleed that I woke up with gushed for about 15 minutes. He asked me if I wanted him to cauterize it while I was there. So, innocently, I said "Oh, sure. Why not?"
Now, to be honest, I've had my nose cauterized before. In fact, several times over the course of my life. No big deal. It seems to work for a few years, then I start with the nosebleeds again. But this doctor was VERY thorough. It seems he wasn't taking any chances on any stray blood vessels lurking in folds of tissue hiding out anywhere in my nose. He put a piece of gauze in my nostril that had been saturated with whatever local anesthetic he deemed fit. My whole face felt like an epileptic dentist had gone crazy with a Novocain needle. Even my eye and the top of my head went numb. I didn't think I had to worry about feeling the cauterizing, and quite possibly wouldn't feel anything else either for at least 3 months. After a few minutes, he removed the gauze, used a little tool to spread open the nostril, located his target area, dipped his Q-tip into whatever cauterizing chemical he was using, and mashed that Q-tip into the intended area. Then he did it again, several more times! When he was done he had used the equivalent of at least a 1 ton truckload of chemical and 15 thousand Q-tips! But I still didn't feel anything. I wondered if I'd ever feel anything ever again.
The doctor said it would be a little uncomfortable when the anesthetic wore off. About an hour later sensation started to return to the top of my head, then my eye, then move down until it finally reached my nose. OUCH! I know tomorrow will be better, but right now I've got a pounding headache, my right eye is twitching, my left nostril is running like Niagara Falls, it feels like there's a booger about the size of a mouse in my right nostril, and it burns right up into my eye socket!
So this is what I need from you all. The next time some doctor somewhere offers to take care of some little thing while I'm there anyway - TALK ME OUT OF IT!
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