Yuck! Pig Mud!

Today I was remembering an experience I had last summer. We had rain, rain, rain, and mud that was knee deep in some places.

The electric wire for the pig enclosure was sagging and needed to be stretched tighter. I fed the pigs so they'd be occupied and stay out of my way, then went into their area to restring the wire. I got a little more than half way around when my left boot got stuck in the mud while the rest of me just kept moving forward. After a bit of arm flailing to try to keep my balance (picture the flag guy who directs the airplane on the ground, only on speed), I finally lost the battle with gravity and ended up flat on my back in the mud. Now, you may ask, "How did you end up on your back if you were moving forward?" It was a tricky move but I managed somehow to accomplish it. When I realized my boot was stuck I overcompensated in trying to stop my forward motion and ended up going backward instead.

Of course you know what else was in that mud! The only thing worse than the stench of pig manure is when you realize that you are now covered in that stench.

While I was trying to figure out how to get upright without getting more of me muddy, the pigs had finished their meal and decided to see if I might have more food. I felt it was more important to get up quickly than to be stampeded by nine half-grown pigs, so I pushed up with my hands and righted myself, now getting the mud up my arms as well. By this time the pigs figured out the fence was completely down and decided to go on a walkabout. "Well, that's good," I thought. "Now I can restring the fence without being bothered at least." I got the fence working, then got some more grain to lure the unsuspecting swine back into their enclosure.

When all was done, I headed back to the house with mud squishing out of my boots, running down my backside and dripping from my long hair, which had also gotten mud on my face when I bent over, the mud then running down the front of my neck. I yelled into the house for everyone to close their eyes, took off all my clothes outside and walked naked to the shower. I had left all sense of modesty in the pig pen.

After 3 soap-ups I could still smell it on my hands so I used my teenage boy's Mennen body wash, which at least covered up the odor. Hey, I figured if it could cover up the smell of a young teenage male just brimming over with testosterone it could handle pig manure. I hosed off my clothes outside then washed them a number of times. I thought I had gotten them clean until my gloves got wet and I realized that this is the smell that keeps on giving. A bleach wash of everything finally got them smelling sweet again.

And what of the boots that were filled with mud? Well, they were getting kind of old and I'd wanted a new pair anyway.